The pyramids. They are definitely big. WWII was pretty big. The Beatles were big. Landing on the moon. That was really big. Guttenberg’s printing press? Biiig. That whole Jesus thing was also damn enormous. And the Big Bang? Biggest. Thing. Ever. But imagine, if you will, an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of these major milestones; the biggest collection of big bigs that have ever been. Close your eyes and imagine Hitler, Lennon and Jesus, in spacesuits standing on a pyramid on the moon with freshly printed copies of the original Guttenberg bible in their hands a nanosecond before the universe collapses into a catastrophic second big bang. Got that image in yr head? You see the moon dust on the sandals? Smell the ink and parchment? Giggling at Adolf’s grimace as he stares down his nose at Lennon and mumbles something about “All We Need is Love mein arsch!” Got it? Good.
This will be bigger.
Pipeburn. Sydney Cafe Racers. Together. It’s going to be, well, you get the drift. But this time we’re throwing the flood gates open for one and all to join us. Yes, we were probably a little too cautious about limiting the numbers last time. In hind sight the retinal scans were a little drastic and the partially-trained ape body cavity searches did upset some of the more squeamish riders, but that’s all behind us now. This time it’s come one, come all. Bring your friends, bring your enemies – hell, bring your dead relatives. We’re hoping for the biggest collection of cool bikes Sydney has ever seen and we want all of you to take part in it.
This time we’re going down south for a lunch at The Friendly Inn, Kangaroo Valley via The Royal National Park. We’ll be meeting at the Kirrawee BP service station at 9am on Sunday December 4th for a 9:30 start. Here’s the initial route. It’s about 300kms. Happy for further suggestions.
Now here’s the straight-faced, boring guy in a suit legal bit that basically says we will take all care but no responsibility. Please read and understand them:
- Please ride safely at all times and obey all those road rules. No burn-outs, no anti-social crap and no macho bullshit. The last thing we want is angry cops/general public/local residents.
- Please be nice to other road users.
- Please note that your participation in the ride is entirely you own choice, and by attending you are agreeing that Scott, myself (a.k.a. Pipeburn), Mark & Jordan (a.k.a. “Sydney Cafe Racers”) will accept no responsibility (legal, financial, medical, or otherwise) if you damage yourself, your bike or anybody/anything else. Riding a motorbike is an inherently risky activity, so you break it, you fix it.
- Please ensure that you don’t over-do it on the beers at lunch; no excessive drinking and riding.
- If you see a fellow rider in trouble, please stop and help. It’s what bikers do. If there are any injuries (suspected or otherwise) call an ambulance immediately and hang around until it arrives. Better to be safe than sorry. Do not let an injured fellow rider back on the bike until you are completely sure they’re OK and not in shock.
Ok – it’s over now. Time to remove that glazed look from your eyes. Put simply, let’s make it safe, hassle-free and as friendly as possible.
All P-platers are welcome. We’ll be keeping it slow and relaxed, so you don’t need to worry about keeping up or being forced to ride beyond your abilities. Also, don’t sweat the bike you are riding. We can’t all ride dream machines like Mark Hawwa, so you can just run what you brung. Just wait until you see what I’m riding…
There’s obviously a chance of bad weather. We’ll post an update on Saturday night to give the final thumbs up or down. Make sure you check our Facebook page before you leave on Sunday.
Feel free to ask questions if you need to. See you at 9:00 am at the BP.
Scott, Andrew, Mark & Jordan (a.k.a. the guys who look the most flustered on the day)
P.S. Again, apologies to our overseas readers who can’t attend the event. We’ll be taking lots of shots, so hopefully you’ll get a feel for the day through the photos we’ll post afterwards. Either that, or you could all just man the hell up, build a giant raft out of old Firestones, exhaust tube, and petrol tanks and float all your bikes over here. Your choice.